Every giant redwood starts as a tiny seed, and every incredible journey begins with a single step. The same applies to personal growth: small, intentional changes can unlock extraordinary potential. Let’s explore how little things can make a big difference.
Small beginnings
Many great things in life start small. A seedling becomes a mighty redwood. A child grows into an adult. A few steps at a time create a long journey. A small business grows to employ thousands. These examples barely scratch the surface of how small things become significant. Doesn’t this give you hope?
The words from one of the most epic films of all time, Lawrence of Arabia, continue to ring true: “Big things have small beginnings.”
Yet the most important thing to grow from small to large is you — your capabilities, capacities, strengths, knowledge, understanding, success, wealth, spirituality, and more.
Whether something is small or large, you can miss a great deal in life by not paying attention. But noticing the little things can profoundly affect your life, resulting in tremendous growth.
“If you take care of the small things, the big things take care of themselves. You can gain more control over your life by paying closer attention to the little things.” — Emily Dickinson
Change happens in relationships
All change involves relationships. The most crucial element in any relationship is behavior. This means all change consists of a behavioral shift within a relationship.
Good and bad behaviors start small and grow larger, yielding desirable or undesirable results. To strengthen our relationships, we must address our undesirable behaviors.
Professional coaching exemplifies this. Coaches help clients develop greater insight into how their behaviors impact relationships and results. Clients then begin changing, modifying, or eliminating behaviors as they understand these interactions.
Almost any coach or client can attest that a small behavioral adjustment can significantly impact performance and life. Why not identify one small behavioral change in a meaningful relationship that can make a real difference today? Opportunities abound, as every relationship can benefit from small changes and the dramatically enhanced results they create.
To identify these little things, you must first “see” them. This requires noticing and paying attention. Once you understand their effects, you must be willing to put forth the effort needed to reap the tremendous benefits they hold.
“It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.” — John Wooden
Let’s examine how to surface these opportunities and begin altering or eliminating them.
Noticing
Before working on yourself, you must notice or “see” what you wish to affect. This requires focusing your attention on the present moment — whether in the physical, mental, or emotional realm. Noticing is pausing and “looking” at something you usually overlook.
Noticing makes the invisible visible.
Here’s a simple question to help you begin recognizing small things you haven’t seen before:
“What do I notice about __________, and how does it affect my behavior?”
For example, you might ask, “What do I notice about how I act at work versus home, and how does it affect my behavior?”
Here are some ideas to fill in the blank in the above question to get you started:
How my partner and I interact
My recent life
Myself when I get upset
My feelings
My attitude
My sleep patterns
The way people work at my company
How I act around my boss/subordinates/colleagues
The foods I crave
You can add virtually anything you wish to this list. Asking the question and noticing something you haven’t seen before is the first step to finding a behavior to work on.
Take Action
To enhance a behavior you wish to affect, use this simple four-step process:
Notice: See it.
Pay attention: Identify what you are doing or not doing and what is triggering it.
Name it: Give the behavior a name to make it real. Use positive names whenever possible.
Experiment: Test various ways to modify or change the behavior.
Start with one item today. Use a journal to track when you started and the changes that follow. You will be delighted with the results if you put forth earnest effort.
Let’s now look at two examples of working on behavioral change.
Example 1 — at work
Question: What do I notice about how I interact with people at work, and how does it affect my behavior?
Step 1 — Notice: While I get along with some people, I’m not always as friendly as I could be.
Step 2 — Pay attention: I’m often in a hurry and end conversations abruptly. This likely makes me seem unfriendly and unpleasant.
Step 3 — Name It: I will name the behavior I want to work on, “pleasantness.”
Step 4 — Experiment: Tomorrow, I’ll focus on being patient and attentive during my interactions with others.
Example 2 — personal
Question: What do I notice about my recent life, and how does it affect my behavior?
Step 1 — Notice: My life is going by far too quickly.
Step 2 — Pay Attention: My busy schedule makes time feel like it’s flying by. I work so much that I rarely pause to enjoy life.
Step 3 — Name It: I will name this behavior “slowing down.”
Step 4 — Experiment: I will prioritize being mindful of taking a break mid-morning and mid-afternoon each day to start planning how Jane and I can better use our time together in a slower, more meaningful, and peaceful, life-extending way.
Final thoughts
Why not try the above exercise? Choose a simple question, identify a small behavior, and run it through the four-step process. Teaming up with someone close can make this process even more powerful. You’ll help each other think it through and create accountability for better results.
You can repeat this process as often as you wish and enjoy the benefits it can bring. Give it a try and watch what happens.
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